Think Of The Children!

One of the saddest things courts have to deal with is disputes about children.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and its true that children thrive in a happy loving environment. The more people to love them the better.

Unfortunately when a relationship breaks down, heartbreaking as it may be for the parents, the biggest casualty is usually the children.

Parents need to love their children more than they hate their ex partner.

There are many very successful co-parents and their children appear least affected by the split of their parents.

The problem is really when the parents are so caught in their own emotions, grief, anger and sadness that they cannot see the effect they are having on their children.

When the parent with care refuses access with the other partner and prevents any contact, the children can suffer immense damage.

In my experience it is usually the mother refusing access to the father, but I am aware of fathers who prevent contact with the mother. It rarely ends well for the children.

Many people believe that the courts prioritise the mother, and that she is the proper custodian of the children.

However the Children Act makes it very clear that the overriding objective should be what is in the best interests of the children.

The withdrawal of Legal Aid for many types of family issues is having a terrible effect on the children.

The judicial system is daunting enough for people with the money to afford representation, but what chance does the ordinary parent struggling to represent themselves have?

One of the things I do quite a lot is support parents, and even grandparents through the processes of the family court proceedings.

I draft all of the paperwork, and attend court as a McKenzie Friend. I try always to empower my clients, the sense of achievement they feel once they have navigated, with support, the whole painful process.

I am very proud to say that I have helped  many parents have contact with their child when they were being blocked from all access. But most importantly, I have been able to help many children have access to both their parents and their wider family.

In all of this the message to remember is that unless there is very good reason (and there sometimes is) its not about what the parents want....

The CHILD has a right to see both parents and the rest of their family!

Until next time

Ali X